The Machine: Plot, Cast and Everything Else We Know

The stand-up bit is legendary, so comedian Bert Kreischer is stretching it into a full movie. Here's what we know about The Machine.

From top partyer and muse for National Lampoon's Van Wilder to A-list stand-up comedian, Bert Kreischer has had an extremely diverse and jack-of-all-trades career. He's starred in multiple television series including FX's Hurt Bert along with Trip Flip and Bert the Conqueror on the Travel Channel. He's also a productive podcaster with Bertcast, 2 Bears, 1 Cave with fellow comedian Tom Segura, and Bill Bert with comedian Bill Burr. So Kreischer has made the jump from the stage to television, and now he's taking his act to the big screen with The Machine, a semi-autobiographical film based on stand-up bits from his previous acts. This novel concept has attracted some high-profile co-stars as well.

How far an anecdote from a stand-up comedy act can be stretched into screen time is up for debate. There's only so much you can do with a bit lasting a few minutes. Take The Jerky Boys Movie, Night at the Roxbury, and Superstar as examples of the tenuous relationship between sketches and full-length feature films. Sometimes comedy should just stay relegated to small chunks instead of blowing it up with filler. But we could also be looking at a short story turned movie here, which is a much more successful template. Here's everything we know about The Machine.

The stand-up bit in question revolves around Kreischer visiting Russia while studying abroad. While there he didn't so much soak up the culture as he did join forces with the local mafia. He brought his party animal ways with him to Russia, which apparently didn't go over so well with the local crime syndicate. Bert is kidnapped by the said mafia, along with his father, and he has to piece together the drunken haze of events to determine what got these capos so mad at him to begin with.

Related: The 8 Funniest Movies Starring Stand-Up Comedians

The official synopsis for The Machine reads "Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia." Sure, we all have our cringey regrets from decades ago we’d like to forget, especially when booze was thrown into the mix. "I should have said…," "I shouldn't have said…," and so on. But getting mixed up with violent criminals rarely makes that list for the average person, so dropping the average person into that buzzsaw could make for a great movie. "It was a very big moment, the moment that got me to where I am today," Kreischer told Variety of The Machine persona.

"It's mind-blowing. It really is," Kreischer said of the Machine in an interview with New York's Q104.3. "At times it kind of overwhelms me. So in flashback scenes you see the young Bert and I got teary-eyed — this is the dumbest thing to get teary-eyed but he introduced himself in the movie. He goes, 'My name is Bert. I don't go to class very much.' [Laughs] And I got teary-eyed. I was like, 'That is exactly who I am! That is exactly what I said, and I'm seeing someone act it out on screen!'"

With Kreischer playing a fictionized version of himself, other figures in his life join the cast, namely Mark Hamill who will play Albert Kreischer Sr. Rounding out the cast is Stephanie Kurtzuba (Wolf of Wall Street, the Irishman), Martin Ford (Kingsman: The Golden Circle) as Sponge, Set Sjöstrand as Vanya (Vikings: Valhalla) and Jess Gabor (Shameless). Also joining the cast of The Machine are Jimmy Tatro, Robert Maaser, and Brian Caspe.

The story itself is a wild one, but the interplay between Kreischer and Hamill could be the star of the show, as Hamill's character looks to be on the straight-laced side in the trailer for The Machine.

Related: Here Are Some of the Funniest Stand-Up Comedians Netflix Has to Offer

In an interview with Looper, Kreischer said "We had a Zoom [meeting] and I think [Hamill] was on the fence and the first thing he said was the first thing my dad said: 'you know, why do you take your shirt off on stage?'... he was [like] 'why would you do that?'"

The movie is directed by Key and Peele alum Peter Atencio, who also helmed the comics’ film debut Keanu. The Machine's script is written by Scrubs scribe Kevin Biegel, who also wrote for the series Cougar Town. His partner in credits is Scotty Landes known for writing for Workaholics and Ma. With this pedigree behind the camera and scenes, we’re likely in for an extremely silly and quirky time with this picture. A 90-minute Key and Peele sketch meets the adventures of the Sacred Heart Hospital crew sounds good to us.

The Machine is scheduled for release in theaters on May 26, 2023. It will be the first release under Legendary Picture's new partnership with Sony.

Making an entire movie out of a comedy bit could be a disaster or a sneaky triumph. Based on the popularity of Kreischer, and the talent amassed to put out The Machine, don't be surprised if it's the latter.